From The Actor’s Chair – Parental Guidance

Little known fact: Parker, everyone’s favorite mascot, moonlights as a movie critic. Read below for his take on Parental Guidance, in theaters on December 25th.

Parker on the set of the movie Parental Guidance.

Parker on the set of the movie Parental Guidance.

On December 19th, the Grizzlies front office, some season ticket holders chosen via a random drawing and over 100 of our closest friends (chosen by the Fresno Beehive) were fortunate to get an early look at the movie Parental Guidance).

First, let me say the movie was GREAT! And when I say great, I mean elegantly told and hilariously written. (I guess I could have said that the first time.)

But I’m not here to critique the entire movie. That’s up to the professionals).

I’m going to share my thoughts on the most important parts: me…and the Grizzlies playing at Chukchansi Park.

My shining moment came during the Kiss Cam scene. I’m not going to spoil it, but someone does kiss another person (surprise!). I have to say, I looked great on the big screen.

There are some other great shots of the game at Chukchansi Park. An aerial shot of the stadium in Downtown Fresno. Artie walking out one last time through the centerfield gates. All beautifully captured by the movie crew.

Billy Crystal…er, I mean, Artie Decker was hilarious calling the action. Now, he is no Doug Greenwald, but Artie did hold his own. He had some great one-liners, keeping listeners on their feet (or on their seats, I suppose, since most people listen to the radio sitting down).

The unfortunate part is Artie’s time with the Grizzlies is short-lived in the movie. The baseball broadcaster of 35 years is fired because he cannot Tweet, poke on Facebook or the worst yet, #Hashtag. Clearly, Artie’s character did not consult those close to him because I have demonstrated I am capable of all those things, as seen here and here. My consulting fee is negotiable, in real-life or in the movies (I like food. Lots of it. It always goes straight to my midsection.)

We could have kept Artie as the voice of the Grizzlies even longer. I am here to entertain fans in the stadium as well as through the social media networks. Writers failed to recognize this (or they did, but it doesn’t go well with their entire plot line. I vote the latter.). We even have a bobblehead of him as a fan giveaway. Clearly, Fresno fans wanted to see more of Artie (Side note: could the actual Grizzlies give away this Artie Decker bobblehead in 2013? Stay tuned…).

Parker poses with some fellow actors from Parental Guidance.

Parker poses with some fellow actors from Parental Guidance.

Artie’s misfortune does breathe new life into his personal life, though. In the end, Artie Decker’s broadcasting career brings his family together. Even when he signs off after every game with a “Lights out, Alice,” you could feel his love for his family even from afar. The unexpected exit from the Grizzlies proved to be for the better in Artie’s life. The lessons learned are something I highly approve.

The movie and special screening showed me I also enjoyed spending time with my Grizzlies family. I can’t wait for the 2013 season to start, but until then, you can see Grizzlies baseball at Chukchansi Park at a theater near you. Go see Parental Guidance. It’s worth it.

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